Saturday, January 17, 2009

Inconvenient Lack of Inspiration...

I had my second shoot today with the wonderful model Anamika and MUA Sinh. We met at 12 and had wrapped up by 4:20 p.m. Anamika is a beautiful, great model and Sinh is a talented MUA who is fun to work with. So everything should have went fine...

I am feeling uninspired and even though we may have got some good shots, I don't feel the good feeling I used to feel after a shoot. I don't FEEL like the shoot was good, I just tell myself some of the shots were good.

Back when I used to use film only, there was no way of telling how good the photos were until I developed them. There was no light test, so continuous-clicking of the shutter, no fast moving model. Every shot had to be very well thought out and very deliberate...If needed, I would help the model pose, think the lighting through, decide where I should be positioned to get the best shot, and carefully frame the photo. Every shot has to count because I was working with a limited number of frames, and because we had no way of telling if something went wrong. I never shot more than five rolls of film per shoot ever - meaning about only 62 frames to a change as opposed to the 200 I shoot now that I am shooting digital.

I just don't feel fulfilled, I don't feel good about this shoot, as well as my last one, though I was also feel very sick last time. Yeah, I'm sure we got some nice shots, but I want to FEEL it, KNOW it without even looking at the photos.

My laptop is still dead so I can't edit anything to show you guys. I have three paid shoots coming up - my first client shoots ever, and I should not be doubting my abilities at a time when people are finally willing to pay me for them. I am so scared and sad. What if I have lost "it?"

What do I do??

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