Thursday, January 29, 2009


...has consumed my photography, as opposed to before, when photography consumed my life. I'll be back in the game soon. I'm taking a break from TFCD until I re-inspire myself, and I am getting there. I'm trying to take my style in a new direction...

In the meantime I'm just working, going to the gym and participating in other extracurricular activities. I feel like my photoshoots have become mechanical, and I'm just breaking until I feel the passion again. I have one paid shoot coming up, but besides that, I have nothing planned.

Oh, and a little late, here are some behind the scenes photos from my last two shoots. Here is Jonathan prepping Bianca for the first and second looks:

And here are what I think are the two best shots from the day, one from each change:

And here are some behind the scenes shots from my garden shoot with Anamika and Sinh (they're both just too precious!)

And here are my favorite shots from the day. There are more to come from both shoots, and I will be posting them on my flickr.

Anyway, the most important thing about a hiatus is that it does not become permanent. Hopefully mine won't be. In the meantime, I have a lot of editing to do, as well as some thinking...

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Inconvenient Lack of Inspiration...

I had my second shoot today with the wonderful model Anamika and MUA Sinh. We met at 12 and had wrapped up by 4:20 p.m. Anamika is a beautiful, great model and Sinh is a talented MUA who is fun to work with. So everything should have went fine...

I am feeling uninspired and even though we may have got some good shots, I don't feel the good feeling I used to feel after a shoot. I don't FEEL like the shoot was good, I just tell myself some of the shots were good.

Back when I used to use film only, there was no way of telling how good the photos were until I developed them. There was no light test, so continuous-clicking of the shutter, no fast moving model. Every shot had to be very well thought out and very deliberate...If needed, I would help the model pose, think the lighting through, decide where I should be positioned to get the best shot, and carefully frame the photo. Every shot has to count because I was working with a limited number of frames, and because we had no way of telling if something went wrong. I never shot more than five rolls of film per shoot ever - meaning about only 62 frames to a change as opposed to the 200 I shoot now that I am shooting digital.

I just don't feel fulfilled, I don't feel good about this shoot, as well as my last one, though I was also feel very sick last time. Yeah, I'm sure we got some nice shots, but I want to FEEL it, KNOW it without even looking at the photos.

My laptop is still dead so I can't edit anything to show you guys. I have three paid shoots coming up - my first client shoots ever, and I should not be doubting my abilities at a time when people are finally willing to pay me for them. I am so scared and sad. What if I have lost "it?"

What do I do??

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Inspiration: Audrey and Coco

I love this editorial of Coco Rocha from late '07, as shown in I Like Mods & Edward Gorey. I also like this comparison of a shoot of Audrey Hepburn and one of my favorite models Natalia Vodianova. I just really like this blog, so go check it out.

All of these images came from her blog, so props to her for scanning them. I hope this okay that I put them up too.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Lesson Learned #2

Don't stick to a shoot if you wake up sick the morning of. It will severely effect your abilities. My shoot on Sunday was exactly like this. I was shooting a three change/three look shoot with model Bianca and Jonathan Alan doing make-up. I finally had an assistant, Sarah, to be able to hold a reflector, so that was a good experiment and I think it went really well. I unfortunately started feeling sick the night before and thus barely slept. When I woke up in the morning I was feeling quite sick, but we were supposed to do this shoot weeks ago and it got postponed for other reasons. It was so hard to find a new day that fit all of us, so I really didn't want to back out. Bianca ended up being a little late because she had a brief family emergency. I love Jonathan's work on the first look - the hair and make up were both superb. It took a while though, and Bianca, being a new model, took a little longer to nail each look. So we didn't end up doing the third look.

We got some cool shots, but I have yet to edit any because my laptop is dead and along with it my photoshop, but when I edit some I'll post them. It was overall an exhausting shoot. I came home with a fever and aching body parts. I went to sleep and woke up 15-hours later...

Saturday shoot with Anamika though! It should be very cool, and I am feeling much better.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Please Pray for Gaza

The current situation in Gaza has been taking a huge toll on my life, as well as a lot of people that I know. I'm not Palestinian, but you do not need to be Palestinian to see the genocide that is going on in Gaza.

Gaza is about two thirds the size of San Jose, California, and has a population of 1.5 million. Before this attack, Gaza has been crippled for months as Israel has put sanctions on it - meaning no fuel for heat, no medicine for cancer patients, no electricity for baby incubators. On top of this, Israel - a world's superpower that gets more US aid and military technology than any other country in the world, is attacking the Gazans.

And they call this a war, or a conflict. THIS IS GENOCIDE. I'm tired of people, including our doofus president and his cabinet, talk about Hamas and Gaza as if it is an equal power. It is not! And even if it were, 600 Palestinians have been killed so far, as opposed to 7 Israelis. This is an outrage! I cannot believe this many people have died and there has been no real international outcry. But of course, Palestinian lives just don't seem to matter right?

Imagine if the opposite had occurred and we had 600 dead Israelis. Europe and America would have ground troops over there by now - the world would be up in arms! And let's assume that Israel is retaliating (which I don't think is the case), has anyone sought to question if their response has been proportional to the cause?

I'm sick and tired of the death and lies. I am sick of Israelis bombing schools full of children and then claiming rockets came from there. I'm sick of the world blaming Hamas for Israel's terrorism.

And yes I said it. Israel is the terrorist - ISRAEL IS A TERRORIST STATE.

Any hateful or rude comments will be deleted.

We Are Sexy

In an article on on 10 sexy careers, photographers came in at number eight. Hellssss yes we are sexy!

One of my new year resolutions is coming true! I don't mean to get too excited here but I have recently been offered two paid gigs, both right as the new year came in. I am stoked. I am going to recycle the money back into my photography, so I can buy a portfolio or a GPS (to get to my locations without getting lost hahah). These are my resolutions this year:

Keep living on the edge/keep talking to strangers
Improve my photography/start making $$ off of it
Build a Better Photo team
Go to More Concerts
Read More
brush up my Spanish
Go to day of the dead in mexico
Go to Seattle/New York/Los Angeles
Go to Coachella

I've made some new diptychs from some old photos. I call this one "Message in a bottle."

and this is a newer self-portrait in my backyard, called "Lemonheads."

I didn't end up doing my last shoot mentioned. We canceled it just because we didn't all feel prepared, so we're doing it this sunday instead. I have had a month long break and I feel like I am ready to go back to work. Wish me luck, and happy new year my children :)

Thursday, January 1, 2009

First Published Work

I'm feeling pretty stoked - I have finally published some photos. It's not any of my fashion work though, which I guess is kind of surprising, but actually my travel photos from when I was in Palestine.

I wrote the narration too, but that isn't me who is reciting it. And oddly, they stuck two photos from another photographer in there. Oh well.


btw, I'm not interested in any hateful, anti-Palestine comments. Any comments of those sort will be deleted.