Saturday, August 23, 2008

Losing "It"

I'm no photo celebrity or anything...nothing near in fact. Yet I have always felt that despite the fact that I don't have very fancy photo gear, proper photo schooling, or a huge fan following, I have an photographic eye that can't be learned. And with that alone, I can make it.

But now I am wondering if it can't be learned, can it be lost??

I haven't taken any photos lately that have really made me feel good about myself. I had a brief shoot with a freelance model when I was in Lyon, France in April that did not thrill me. I haven't taken any self-portraits that have really made me proud since maybe February. Today I tried to snap some photos of my friend which was a complete failure (I am not even going to post them here I hate them so much).

I thought I was lacking inspiration...and now it has been months. I told myself that Egypt (where I have been living for the past 10 months) isn't a very inspiring place. But then again, neither is the suburb of California I come from. Maybe my friend isn't a good model (she isn't, really), and neither was the model in Lyon. But, at the same time, some of my best photos (insofar) were taken of complete amateurs. Chesley, who is the main model you will find in my gallery, had no modeling experience before my shoot with her, and the same goes for my best friend, who is also a big part of my gallery.

Okay, so maybe my best friend is a natural (she is!), but Chesley was not. She required a lot of direction and sometimes we struggled, but with out combined efforts we were able to make some nice photos despite the fact that we were both pretty new at the time. So even if my friend isn't an awesome model, I feel like that if I were a good photographer, i would have been able to direct her better and get some nice pictures.

I can't blame anyone for my own failure but myself, really. I used to have trouble sleeping because I was thinking up ideas for my photos...now I knock out every night (lol).

I'm interested in knowing the opinion of others, if they exist here. What do you do when you've lost all inspiration? What do you when you know you're losing "it?"

Photography is the biggest love of my life...I'm not sure what would be left if I lost it.

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